Dad's Elementary Library

So I get done reading "The World Is Flat" by Thomas Friedman and I'm rolling around the house and I come upon Dad's book collection.

What the... ?

I mean, "Where's Spot?" and then this monkey who looks like he's had 14 beers comes out from behind the door and screams, "Not in here!" while he's laughing and scruffing down a banana? Dad, I know this reminds you of a Saturday night at Marquette, circa 1998, but trying to relive your college years through this is a bit much.
Oh, not sure if you guys are aware of my mad baseball skills... this one went for a triple.